Thursday, January 22, 2009

On My Heart

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This post has been on my heart for quite some time. And by quite some time, I mean since November. But while there's a part of me that isn't timid to share if we are face to face, there are times when being serious (and not humorous) can be difficult.

Because sometimes I can hide like that. And funny is good, but being open is too, right?

I was asked to share a testimony at our ladies retreat in November and one topic kept swimming around in my head. Not leaving me alone. And despite the fact that it's not a "testimony" per se, I knew that it was something God was speaking to my heart and in that way was my testimony of where I was at that moment in my life.

And it has to do with how others view me at times, how I view others, and collectively how we, as women, tend to categorize ourselves.

While it can be complimentary at times (i.e. You are such a superwoman! I don't know how you can do all that you do!), those views and statements are unfair - to the ones they are given too and also to the ones giving them.

So many times we often only have a glimpse, a small picture of what is happening in someone's life. A quick moment in church. Running into each other at the store. A post or two on a blog... It's like picking up an old roll of movie film, looking at some of the frames, and then making an assumption on what the entire movie is about based on those few frames that we have the opportunity to look at.

And then we categorize that person based on what we've seen - and at the same time, categorize ourselves. "Wow. She really has it all together. There is no way that I can ever do all that." Not seeing the full picture.

We allow those assumptions to become the basis for what we feel we should measure up to. What we should be. Or become.

And truly it's unfair to the person we are doing it to and most importantly - to ourselves. Because each one of us was created with our own unique personality. Imprinted with the thumbprint of God.

The gifts that He may have given to me might not be gifts that He gave to you. Or vice versa. And that is OK! If we were all running around blessed with the same exact giftings, what fun would life be? Yes, He might have gifted me with organization. But maybe He has you have the gift of intercession. Or hospitality. Or patience with your children. And while it might seem like I'm comparing apples to oranges - that's the point. None of us are the same. God created us differently for a purpose.

While we are each gifted differently, there are also different seasons of our lives that allow us to do more (or less) too. These last few years of having baby after baby (or so it has felt) have required me to pull back from some areas that I LOVE and enjoy. And while it was difficult at first, I now see that God used that down time for a purpose in me. Time to renew me. Refresh me and instill a deeper love and desire for what He has in store for me. I know that in time I will have the opportunity to return to those areas, but if I get too caught up in where I want to be, I'll miss the moment of where He has me right now.

And that's not something I want to miss out on.


9 comments:

  1. What a wonderful post and thank you for being so open. It's good to have a reminder that we are just seeing "snippets" of life. I truly love your blog because you have some of the gifts that God has not blessed me with (organization). I think I have tried to focus too much on what I want my gifts to be and not enough on what God has planned.

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  2. Amen sister! Even with people that are really open on their blog we are still only getting a little pieces of their lives.

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  3. You have written what has been on my mind for some time. Thank you.

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  4. Its so nice to know that someone else is thinking things like this to! Thanks! It's nice to read a little bit beyond the cover!

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  5. AMEN girl, but I think we've had this discussion at some point ;)

    I am so glad you wrote this. I think women struggle with this whether they are always thinking "everyone else has it together" or if they are always being told that they do and feel uncomfortable about it.

    Purpose girl - that is what it is about!

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  6. Amen! I've been thinking a lot along the same lines lately. It's so easy to see the giftings that other people have and ignore what I can do. I'm trying to live more in the moment of being in tune with what God is doing in my life here and now, not what he's doing in someone else's life.

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  7. "These last few years of having baby after baby (or so it has felt) have required me to pull back from some areas that I LOVE and enjoy. And while it was difficult at first, I now see that God used that down time for a purpose in me. Time to renew me. Refresh me and instill a deeper love and desire for what He has in store for me. I know that in time I will have the opportunity to return to those areas, but if I get too caught up in where I want to be, I'll miss the moment of where He has me right now."

    I am going to print that quote out and put it where I can look at it. Alot!

    I have felt that same "new baby" feeling with the transition into homeschool. This year has been great academically, but personally for me its been tough. There isn't time for all those things i did before I started homeschooling: working out at the gym, going for long runs, sewing, baking, keeping a spotless house, going to lunch with friends, blogging, reading blogs...the list goes on and on...

    I have had to remind myself over and over again that this is a season that I will not regret sacrificing the lusts of my heart over. That at the end of the day I will not have missed the things I "could" have done because I whole heartedly tended to the place I had been called (even though my friends and peers hadn't been called there!)

    You cannot know how I needed to hear it!

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  8. I used to think the same way, then a friend told me something interesting.

    She said that when people give you such encouragement, God is using them to tell you something. To encourage you and keep you moving forward. No, they may not see everything that goes on, but we know we're not perfect. But how much more does it help us to push forward when someone encourages us in something so difficult. It is good for us to encourage others as well. We don't have to make it sound like we think they're perfect, but they need to hear some encouragement. :) Sometimes God wants to use us to help keep others moving forward.

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