Friday, May 29, 2009

Keeping it Real ~ Really

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**Warning!! Frustrated mom on keyboard.**

I had grand ambitions of sitting down to write a lovely post. It isn't going to happen. At least it won't be what I had in my mind. Probably won't be what you expected today either. It isn't glowing. Isn't sunshine and roses today ~ but it is real. Me in a nutshell at this very moment.

As I'm writing this, I am frustrated beyond measure with both myself and one of my children.

Unsure of how to best handle specific behavior and attitude that just seems to exude from every pore of the little being. Stuff that doesn't just push my buttons ~ it essentially takes fists and pounds on every single button of my emotional keyboard {how's that for a pitiful metaphor?}.

And I'm not always proud of my reactions to all that pushing. Not proud at all.

I'm struggling to find the 'solution' to the behavior {and boy don't I wish there were a quick fix to it}. Trying to best tailor my response to all that's happening. Without losing my cool, going off the deep end and making a bad situation even worse.

It might not be so bad if there were just one child to deal with {ummm...well, yes it might}, but trying to piece myself out to four different kids and still maintain a degree of sanity lately has been nothing short of a miracle. I'm pretty much at the point of physical exhaustion by the middle of the day. Literally.

I'm just not sure where to even start anymore. What to ask God for. I seriously would just love to have something, anything, dropped in my lap {are you listening, Lord?}.

What do I want? A quick and easy solution. I.e. Do 'X' and the problem will be solved. What do I need? Patience. Direction. Love. Peace. Gobs of grace. Patience....and heaps more patience. Lord, help me, please. I just need a touch from you ~ so much more than I even know how to express right at this moment.





16 comments:

  1. (((Hugs))) I have days like this, too, my friend. It is tough to know what to do while you're going through it, but God will give you wisdom. Hang in there.

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  2. ooo thats tough.. I have days like that and I only have one kid! Hopefully something gives soon!

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  3. Oh Jolanthe.. it's as if I sat down and wrote that post!!! I can SOOO relate on every single level!!! I'll be praying for an abundance of patience to be dropped in your lap. Not a quick fix, but it helps! And while I'm at it, I'll ask God to fix my patience zone.. because lately I think it's been broken :)

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  4. I am right there with you! I'm finding that I can't control his attitude and reactions (boy I would like to!), but I can control mine -- and it is much harder than I thought. Every night I pray for renewed patience, but last night I realized that I need to pray this continually throughout the day -- because sometimes my patience is exhausted by mid-morning. When I pray for patience for me -- I'll try and remember to pray for patience for you too!

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  5. My comment may be practical, but I will try to be encouraging also.:-)

    Do you have your quiet time each day? There was a time in my life when I would call a friend and vent. The first thing she would say is "have you had your quiet time today?" To which I would say, "no." She would say "go have your quiet time and then call me back if you need to." So, knowing she would say that, I would go have my quiet time before I called her, but I found I didn't need to call her anymore. One day, I had to call just to say hi, because I never called her anymore. This is why I rarely share online like this - not that I don't have these times, boy do I ever! But, I go to Him first and let Him handle it for me. This is where it is at. He is our strength and we can't do it without Him. :-)

    I know you know this, so this is just your friendly reminder. :-)

    Oh, and remember that whatever season you are going through, it is to work on you. So, once you pass the test, you can move on. Think of this when you want to lose it. . . endure!

    Praying for you!

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  6. I have sooooo btdt. What often helps me -- at least a little bit -- is to try (*try* being the key word) to focus on what God is trying to teach ME through this.

    Praying for you!

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  7. I could write a post like that almost every day. It seems one of my boys is always "that child" for the day and I just lose it (on several occasions) with him. I find myself having thos *I wish they were in school just for a few days* moments on those days!!!

    Praying for you--and for me!!! ;)
    Carisa

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  8. Our children are the sandpaper that God uses to smooth out OUR rough edges. (I SO HATE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT!).

    ((hugs))

    Joesette

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  9. Hey, thanks for being real with us. So sorry you're having a rough time of it right now. Praying for God's peace in your family today!

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  10. Don't you hate those moments of being a parent? I like the "sleeping like angels" and giggling moments much better. Hope your weekend will go more smoothly. Take care, and take a break once in awhile if you can.

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  11. Oh girl!
    I hear you! I am soooo sorry!!! I only have two, but my little one has been about insane lately.
    I left a comment on Aloha Money. I have found the best book for boys written by some therapists here in Nashville. There is also a girls' version which isn't as good.
    The boys' book is Wild Things by Stephen James and David Thomas.
    It has really changed things at our house.
    Good luck!!!!
    Praying for you!!!

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  12. Oh girl, I so hear you and ironically hit that point today. We have some "whining/complaining" issues and a bit 'o disrespect going on.

    I just told Eric that we need a "fix"...but my solutions only deal with the behavior and not the heart issues.

    It is so hard to be a mommy. This is the time I usually end up buried in "Creative Correction" and other such books, as well as in prayer.

    I'll be thinking of you too!

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  13. Must have been in the air this week!! I hope things are looking up for you now.

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  14. I've been struggling with this myself lately....I have 4 teens left in my house and 2 are extremely delayed (intellectually) and one of them I have to homeschool because the school couldn't provide the help that she needs.....everyday, I struggle with resentment and impatience towards this child because now I have a shadow 24/7...and she's taller than me! I have to remind myself that 'this too, shall pass'

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  15. Wow, isn't it a bit of comfort hearing that we've all been there too?!

    I have a 13 yo, a 10 yo, and a 7 yo (all boys). We are dealing with testosterone and puberty here. Lots of calls to Dad have been made as he seems to be the only one the 13 yo will listen to.
    So I understand frustration. I just pray more than anything we can make it through this time and still enjoy one another on the other side. Hang in there.

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  16. I just learned a new txt phrase: btdt. I'll have to remember that, thank you, Kris.

    I think your prayer at the end of your post summed it up perfectly...and I think we've all been there, begging God for a solution, for grace and patience. Now that my kids are a bit older, I have the luxury of "perspective" which means that I've already forgotten so much of how awful things can get...but your post brought it back to mind as I remember sobbing so many times as a failure. Funny how much better a parent I've gotten (in my own mind) as time has gone on. I muddled through, and that's the truth.

    Somehow, the Lord gives grace in the middle of everything. The "annoying" child in our family has become the most precious, thoughtful and sweet one of all. I never would have believed it. I've come to think that there are peaks and valleys in attitudes and behaviors...there are certain ages that are almost impossible to have grace for: the obnoxiousness can drive you crazy.

    All I can say is that we will stand with you with our prayers for grace and shouts of "you can do this!" from the sidelines. As Marie said, this too shall pass, but getting through it isn't easy. I appreciate your honesty and transparency...nice to know that others have struggled, too.

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