Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Dear Baby Weight

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I know that truly I can't call you 'baby' anymore. Or for that matter blame it on a baby since it has been well over two years since the last one made his appearance into our house.

Unfortunately for me, you decided to stick around and if the truth be known, you've frankly overstayed your welcome.

Somehow though I don't have the heart to kick you out. It might not be so much that I'm unwilling ~ truthfully, it's more that I'm too exhausted to think about it and boils down to me just being plain old L.A.Z.Y.

I need to tell you, even though I have kept you around, you really aren't that fun to be with and with you around there is a general feeling of 'yuckiness' surrounding me. I would be more than happy to issue you a 'vacate the premises immediately' but don't think you are going to go without a fight.

I'm guessing you think you have rights of your own:

~ Rights to all the excess and hidden Easter candy.
~ Rights to finishing up whatever happens to be around {and believe me, with four kids I know there can be a lot at times}.
~ Rights to hang out and see how much fun it is when I don't fit into those summer clothes. Again.

Please consider this your formal written eviction notice and know that I sincerely wish you the best elsewhere. Far, far away from me and my body.

I know that separation can be difficult, but I really think it would be best if we don't visit each other any more. Please don't try to convince me otherwise and above all, don't bring any of your little friends by to visit me either.

Let's just make a clean break of it and be done. This is probably the best for all involved {especially me}.

Thanks so much for understanding,

Your {un}willing Host for the past 2ish years or so

2 comments:

  1. Brilliant! I'm fighting a few excess pounds too - except that I can't even call them baby fat as I've never had a baby. I call them "brown fat" - now that the winter is over and hybernating is over with, they have got to go!

    ReplyDelete

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