Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Choices as a Parent

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There are times that I really don't like having to make decisions and being the 'responsible' one. I will never be one to say that parenting is easy or a piece of cake.

I am really not-fond of wondering if I am making a decision for my child/children that might scar them emotionally for life. Okay, I exaggerate a wee bit at this moment, but I know that in about 20 minutes {give or take} I am going to have one little five year old boy that will wake up and realize that he is still here at the house and a few key family members are missing for the next few days.

Maybe we made the wrong choice in not telling him ahead of time that Rick and the girls were going to great-grandma's funeral ~ while three of us {including him} aren't. Did we make the right choice in not letting him go to the funeral? Will the next few days be completely insane with a sobbing child distraught because he is still here ~ and they are not? Can he be distracted by a pancake breakfast and lunch at Chic-fil-A?

The burning questions just run through my mind....

Sometimes making decisions and knowing when to do stuff with kids can really be hard. I know that we don't always get what we want in life and kids learn lessons through all of it, but dare I mention that sometimes I avoid stuff? Part of the reason for not telling Zachary prior to everyone leaving was because we truthfully didn't want to listen to any whining and complaining about it before they left. Is that wrong? Should I even second-guess myself on this one?

Here's hoping pancakes and chicken will smooth it all over.


  1. Oh no, I can completely understand your decision. We've had to make decisions like that with our kids too. I think the fact that you're thinking about it this much shows the kind of parent that you are. I'm sure he'll be fine and yes, pancakes do make things better.

  2. oo that is tough!! Its a hard thing to decide. I was the youngest in the family and felt like I always got left out of things. Even to this day I feel like I am the last to find out about things.. but maybe its just my insecurities that make me feel left out. However, if I were the one making the decision I would have left him at home too. I remember not going to a funeral of a close family member that my sister went to. I was sad at first but in the end I had a lot of fun at home. Okay.. I'm rambling :-P

  3. We all struggle with telling or not telling our kids things. But at our house, we have anxiety issues that come from knowing too much. Just last night my son threw up cuz he was super excited to have his first sleepover tonight. Well, now he's not going. Next time I'm telling him when we pull in his driveway. My boy is sooo upset now.

  4. I have a 4 1/2 yr old boy. I did take him to is grandpa's funeral last year. (Can't believe that Dad has been gone for a year now *tear*) I didn't want to take him only because he is so high energy; but everyone was glad to see him. I have a precious picture of him pensively standing next to the casket at the graveside. Wish I had a video when a momet later he ducked his head under, pearing into the grave and calling "hullooo??? Grandpa, you down there?"

    Okay, that being said... I agree with you. We always have to make decisions about what's best for our kids. And then wonder later if we made the best decision.

    I always say make the best decision you can with the info you have at the time.

  5. How about a playdate at our house tomorrow? That may help, and Emily would love the company.

  6. Parenting in so stinkin' hard sometimes.

    I would have done the same thing. I think he will enjoy the time with you!

    Doing fun things like you mentioned will help for sure!

  7. I would say whatever decision you made is the right one. Don't second guess yourself and stay confident that way you won't torment yourself over the next three days. Enjoy this as personal time with him.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  8. If you and your hubby made the decision together - then trust it and enjoy the time with your boy!

    BTW: I TOTALLY understand about not telling him before because you didn't want to hear him whine! Some days I need earplugs!

  9. I hate making decisions, seriously. I get all "I DONT KNOW" and end up crying :(

  10. Hi! thanks for dropping by my blog! It's nice to make new connections.

    BTW - I can relate with your son hitting the nurse call button. Have you ever noticed in elevators that the red alarm button is at just the right height and begging to be pushed by little boys?

  11. Was your son very close to his great grandma? My dad died when I was nearly six. I was not allowed to go to the funeral. I never really got true closure. Yes, they explained that I wouldn't be able to talk to him, but I also never got to say goodbye.

    As parents we make the best decisions we can. I am definitely not knocking your decision. I just wanted to provide you with a different side.

    I am so sorry for your family's loss.


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