Friday, January 18, 2008

To post or not to post...

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This last week has been one of continued chaos in our house. Coming off the heels of everyone going through the flu, appetites adjusting back to the normal, weaning kids off the extra television... It all came to a head on Wednesday.

We don't usually serve the kids too much dinner (they can ask for more) but expect them to taste and eat what they are given - or it comes back. Because he had been sick the previous week and his tummy catered too, Zachary was bound and determined to get the food he wanted. And that wasn't the food he'd been given. Add lots of whining (on both his and my part), frustration, etc...and one little boy went to bed without eating dinner and the promise of seeing the food again the next day until he decided to eat it.

Guess who wasn't happy to see the food for breakfast. Guess who refused to eat it? Snack? Nope. Lunch? No way....he was holding out in epic proportions. The other kids were also going completely batty. I was going completely batty. Complaining about school. Complaining about cleaning up. Blah, blah, blah... Zachary refused to take a nap and just sat in the room screaming at the top of his lungs.

By the time I had to take the girls to gymnastics I felt like I had reached the breaking point. I just cried on the way home and just prayed for God to help me. I felt like one of the world's worst moms. Just a feeling of total loss of control of my kids. Their attitudes. My attitude. In the midst of it all I just felt an overwhelming peace as I poured out my heart to God. No earth-shattering revelations. Just peace. And boy, did I need that.

Later that evening I was reading a friend's post about her kids, and despite not-wanting-to-compare, I internally was. She can't get enough of her kids - in a good sense! After reading the post, I was internally thinking: "I'm ready for a month-long sabbatical. I can get enough. Is something wrong with me?" (and I know the answer is "no" *grins*).

Life isn't always fun and games at our house (and I'm guessing it isn't always at yours either). I usually try to post funny stuff or some random stuff, but when life isn't "fun" and things are normal or difficult, it's harder to post and share and be open. It's easy to post the good stuff. It's being open and vulnerable that is difficult to do.

The truth is, I am often a crazy woman in need of a good strong cup of coffee and uninterrupted adult conversation. My laundry is abounding and unfolded, toys are strewn from top to bottom of my house, children are running from here to there, wildly amuck, interruptions are at every turn, and I sometimes think hiding in my closet might be my best option for the day. There is lots of noise. LOTS of noise. And that is life. Plain and simple. I am raising a group of amazing children. Passionate kids. Who know what they want (and scream when they don't get it *grins*). Me? I'm passionate too - and my passion for them is growing deeper every day (sometimes along with my frustrations). But I long so desperately for that passion to be channeled into their love for Jesus. That they never turn back in their pursuit of Him. And go after Him with all the passion that they have for so many of the little things in life.

Phone conversations get interrupted frequently. Using the computer can be challenging at times. I ALWAYS have a means of conversation with a Friend- and that exists wherever I am, whenever I want, despite having children hanging on me or yelling for something. I've been listening (rather repetitively) to a song redone by Kathryn Scott "What a Friend". It's a great old song, but the words have really struck something in me this this last week.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear, what a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer.

Oh what peace we often forfeit, Oh what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials or temptations, is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged, take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful, who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness, take it to the Lord in prayer.



6 comments:

  1. I just loved reading this post...... I LOVE reading your blog! =) Thanks so much for sharing!

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  2. I loved this post Jo. I love reading when people are just real...the good, the bad and the ugly. Trust me, I have had some days where hiding out in the closet seemed like my best option. Thanks for sharing your heart and putting it all out there. Oh, and just so you know, I think you are an amazing mom!

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  3. Amazing post from an amazing Mommy. Thank you for being so real....I think we can all identify.

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  4. Jolanthe, you'll make it! We've all been there but no one is quite as willing to share their heart. I so appreciate your being real. I've had many a "crazy kid" day and I only have one and a half kids!

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  5. SO glad you chose to post. We have all been there. I so related to your day and pray God has continued to fill your heart with peace.

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