Monday, August 11, 2008

The If Onlys

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As a mom there are many times at the end of my day when I look back at my day with the kids and start the "if onlys".

If only I hadn't yelled at them.

If only I had reacted differently.

If only I laughed more.

If only I spent more time with the kids.

If only I sat down with them when they asked.

If only I had disciplined them differently.

If only I had encouraged them more.

So many if onlys. And they can be crippling. Horribly so. To the point There are times I feel that I have somehow done irreversible damage to my children. That they will be scarred emotionally, in therapy for years, and it will be all my fault because of one (or more) of those "if onlys".

Recently I was reading a book by Tracie Peterson called A Lady of Secret Devotion. At the end of the book there was one part that literally brought me to tears and just put so much into focus for me. I love it when God finds little, unexpected ways to speak to our hearts!

"I wish I could go back in time and do things differently."

"But perhaps if that were the case, we'd only make new mistakes and suffer other kinds of sorrow...I think we're probably better off putting our focus and efforts

"I'm sure your right...I must fight against the regret that would see me defeated. I cannot change what has happened, but it needn't separate me from a happy future."

(emphasis mine - p. 362).

The regret that would see me defeated. The lies that the enemy would have me believe. Trying to cripple me in my relationship with God and my relationship with my family.

Because those lies, those regrets, do not belong and have no hold over me as I am a child of the King. I need to lay those "if onlys" down each and every day - the moment they try to pull me down.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not percieve it? I am making a way in the desert and astreams in the wasteland."
Isaiah 43: 18-19

My Father goes before me - each and every day. Bringing life into a place that is dry and thirsty. Creating an oasis for me. An abundance that will spring up and spill over into my family. No "ifs" - only Him.


  1. "No ifs, only Him"

    Loved this girl. I do the same thing. Thanks for starting my day this way.

  2. oh man, have I had that feeling before!! Thanks for the encouraging words!!

  3. Even as a mother of one, but caring for other people's children, I find myself saying "if only" at the end of my day, too. Thanks for the encouragement!!

  4. Great post. I find myself bogged down in the 'if onlys' far too often.

    'No ifs, only Him.' I'm going to remember that.

  5. i once , long ago, had a really neat poem about just that, but it eventually got way too dirty on my refrigerator..but OF COURSE I didn't throw it away...If I find it, I'll post it...just because I love you!

  6. So true...thanks for the encouragement and the scripture!


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