Monday, May 31, 2010

Dear Timeshare Salesmen

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While I understand that sales can be difficult at times, and granted many of the people visiting your resort may be there only for a night to escape from their children relax in a serene environment, I’d like to offer a few suggestions that might make a sale of one of your timeshare units a little more appealing.

~ Please refrain from SWEARING in front of me. I realize that you might think it gets your point across a little more emphatically, but truthfully it just starts grating on me and I begin to lose interest in anything you are saying.

~ Wear a little less cologne. A little goes a long way. Too much cologne just screams ‘slick’ to me.

~ Don’t pretend to know that my kids are going to be crazy once they become teenagers, so I must take family vacations RIGHT NOW.  While I understand family time is crucial, guilt won’t work on me. I am now more determined than ever to prove you wrong.

~ Flashing a wad of $50’s in front of me when you take your wallet out to show me a special ‘members only’ card is a bit of a turnoff. Makes me think you’re getting just a wee bit too much money ~ and I’m not willing to add to that bundle at the moment.

~ Loud isn’t always nice. I ask my kids all.day.long to please bring their voice levels down. When people at nearby tables turn to look at you when you are talking and laughing ~ it might be a bit over the top.

~ Trying to talk us into buying a timeshare and paying basically interest only for 4 years because it’s a ‘tax advantage’, might not have been the smartest move. I believe Dave Ramsey says it best ~ “It’s not in the budget!”

~ Offer me your best deal up front. Don’t start at $27,000 and then offer the SAME unit and amenities for $6,000 right before we leave. That just smacks of dishonesty to me. I realize commissions are on the line and you get more based on what we pay, but really?

That’s all for now. Just wanted to put it all out on the line for you and hopefully explain a little more about why we didn’t buy into your deal today. We do, however, appreciate the 3 day/2 night stay that we received…and the cruise we’ll be getting for sitting through the 3 hour tour.

 

11 comments:

  1. okay so i have to just say HILARIOUS! it's the truth. too funny. well at least going through all that you get a cruise! can't beat it! ;)

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  2. I went to one of these and the guy told me to be a man and make a decision for myself. Thought I was being slick by telling him I had to discuss it with my imaginary significant other.

    So....now that you bought into the timeshare....C'Mon, you couldn't resist ;-) What weeks do you have to share with your family?

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  3. We had such a terrible experience with this on our honeymoon - we thought we were just getting a free breakfast & could leave anytime- because that's what they said! So we were trying to get out of there to go to our first day of Disney World, and it was a nightmare!!! We had similar slick-guy experiences, too, and then the whole 'calling in a manager' thing, it was horrible.

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  4. Wow! What a doozy! I'm glad I've never had to endure anything like that. The most I open the door for is college kids selling children's books and they talk for 10 min. (quietly) and then I tell them I'm not buying any and they leave.

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  5. You are a scream! (and I'm sure you wanted to scream by the time you were through).

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  6. Oh my! I just went through this TWICE last week while on vacation. The freebies were nice, but...

    Here's another one to add to your list: If you promise a 90-minute "pitch," please keep it to 90 minutes. Vacation's awaitin'!

    V

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  7. Now that's funny, I don't care who you are!!! You hit that nail on the head. Sounds like you got a good deal. We sat through one of those wretched presentations and all we got was dinner and a carriage ride. I guess you could say there was some slight entertainment value there if nothing else though. Thank goodness we didn't have our kids with us though...I'd just as soon poke myself in the eyes with forks.

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  8. Let me just add, "Don't tell me it'll only take 45 minutes and then take up 3 hours of my day!"

    Oh, oh, and "Take no for an answer!" I tell my kids that all the time; maybe you, Mr. Salesman, need to go back and remember what your dear Mama taught you!

    Glad you enjoyed your timeshare stay at least - we've taken advantage of a few of those, and are getting better at convincing the guys we really mean, "NO!"

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  9. Don't forget the part where they walk you past the pictures of all of the happy couples who have purchased their time share as if in your head you're suppose to say "wow, if only i could buy this time share I would be as happy as those people!!!" lol I am new to your blog but this post literally made me laugh out loud! Keep up the good work :)

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  10. Wow! What a doozy! I'm glad I've never had to endure anything like that. The most I open the door for is college kids selling children's books and they talk for 10 min. (quietly) and then I tell them I'm not buying any and they leave.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I went to one of these and the guy told me to be a man and make a decision for myself. Thought I was being slick by telling him I had to discuss it with my imaginary significant other.

    So....now that you bought into the timeshare....C'Mon, you couldn't resist ;-) What weeks do you have to share with your family?

    ReplyDelete

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